Calendars, Beer, and John Cusack

 

ATTENTION. ATTENTION. On 11/11/11 at 11:11:11 PM, only because most of us will be working at 11:11:11 AM, pop open your bottles of Stone Vertical Epic 11/11/11. Since 02/02/02, Stone has been releasing small batches of their Vertical Epic series of beer on the one year, one month, and one day anniversary of that first brewing. Each one is designed to age well for enjoyment on 12/12/12, when the last in the Vertical Epic series will be made available.

Stone recommends drinking each year of their Vertical Epic series on 12/12/12. Fine. I’ll do that. But only because I have a few other bottles stashed away for the occasion. Until then, why not pop open a bottle of the recently released 11/11/11 and celebrate the date that has only half of the numbers that are used in binary code?

So, what happens after the 12/12/12 is released? What about 13/31/13? Let’s just call it January 31, 2013 because someone forgot to carry the one or something. Or maybe in a few hundred thousand years the Sun’s gravitational pull on the Earth will weaken and our planet’s orbital path will increase in circumference from 584 million kilometers to 663 million kilometers, thus necessitating the need to add an extra month into the year. Math!

Stone seems to be onto something here. If John Cusack’s character taught me anything in the 2009 movie, “2012”, it’s that the Mayan calendar ends on 12/21/12. Some would say that day is the end of days. Others would say that the Mayans were just too lazy to keep the calendar going. Me? I believe anything John Cusack says. That means you have nine days to recover from the inevitable hangover that you get from drinking all eleven versions of the Vertical Epic on 12/12/12 and “borrow” a plane so you can fly under tumbling skyscrapers and do some sweet barrel rolls like you have been training for all your life by playing entirely too much Star Fox.

Start getting friendly with your local craft brew store owners and maybe they might share some of their secret stash of previous Vertical Epic series with you.