Tamagatchi & Beer

 

Hark! Fellow malt and hops lovers, I’d like to give myself a proper introduction. If you follow Pintley you’ll likely hear me ramble on this blog more in the immediate and no-so-immediate future, so for now you’re stuck with me. With zero credentials, other than because I said so, I will be writing about beer-related events, tasting thoughts, dream interpretations, and so on. My name is Jason Jammallo, and I love craft beer.

Homebrewing also happens to be one of the other loves in my life (please don’t tell my girlfriend). Do I dibble-dabble in the art and mad science that is brewing? Do I dip my toes into the ocean of pride and frothing enthusiasm that comes with artfully-crafted homebrew? Do I sing Justin Bieber songs in the shower when no one is listening? Yes, yes, and yes. What better way to start writing for Pintley than to give its users a self-indulgent peek into what I think is the ultimate pinnacle of beer nerdery, nay, beer nerderiety.

Have you had a beer you absolutely loved, but there was one aspect of it that you wish you could change if you had the chance? Stop being so lazy and do it yourself! Make that beer that you have always had in your head as the end-all of beers. My goal with this post is not necessarily to educate readers on how to homebrew, but rather to get at least one person interested in learning more. So why should the average craft beer drinker consider making their own? Homebrewing is all about experimenting, sharing, problem-solving, tinkering, improving, and friends. More importantly, did I mention you are making beer?

Let’s keep this simple. Have you at one point in your life made a pot of tea, boiled pasta, and owned a Tamagatchi? Congratulations, you have the prerequisites required to make your own beer. Remember the part about the tea? Stay with me here. Steeping a tea bag is synonymous to mashing grains for beer. Mashing is the process in which enzymes have a massive party and convert the starches in the crushed grain into sugars. The slurry of water and grain is then drained after a period of time into a kettle where it is then boiled in order to concentrate, caramelize, and break down the oils in the added hops in what is now called wort. Sure, there are other reasons to boil the wort, but then my pasta analogy goes out the window and I am all out of analogies.

Tamagatchi, Tamagatchi. I love you. But what I love even more is yeast (please do not tell my Tamagatchi). Just like that tiny egg-shaped digital pet you had in the 90’s (admit it), you need to keep your yeast happy and healthy in order for them to live long and prosper. Yeast, when added to your wort once it has cooled after the boil, will eat the sugars in the wort and create a waste product that we imbibers like to call alcohol. Boom. You just learned about fermentation. You’ve been educated.

In closing, I’d like to mention that I’ve left out probably almost every single important detail about brewing. Remember when I said this was going to be a self-indulgent ramble? There you go. Although I probably talked more about how splendid Tamagatchis are rather than brewing, consider making the jump to making your own beers. Head over to your local homebrew shop to see what it’s all about. More people out there brewing means more delicious beer recipes being made, and who knows, maybe one day that homebrewer will scale up into a micro-brewery. Maybe one day your beers will end up on Pintley. Maybe one day I will be able to keep my Tamagatchi alive for more than 2 days. Maybe.